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Materials for teens and parents on pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections provided by Teen Health Mississippi are displayed Tuesday, Sept. 26, 2023, in Jackson, Miss. Many states are shifting their approach to sex education in K-12 schools with stricter regulations on when and what students learn about their bodies. It’s a move that has further complicated and polarized sex education. (AP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis)
In middle school, you and your classmates bounce anxiously in your homeroom seats. You’d heard horror stories from older siblings or teammates about being separated and forced to endure a presentation about their changing bodies. No one would say exactly what was discussed, most tended to tune it out the best they could. At 9 and 10 years old, you were experiencing your first sex ed class.
For the next six years, you’d sit through a lot more of these awkward information sessions. Eventually they’d move past the most effective way to apply deodorant or insert a tampon and start to cover the actual topic of sexual intercourse. I had to watch my high school health teacher slide a condom on a banana and pass around stuffed animals representing each sexually transmitted infection (STI.)
I was sent into the world woefully unprepared for the complexities of the human body — and I’m not alone. International educator Marlene Ritchie writes in a 2016 article from nonprofit organization, Childresearch.net, “studies about sex education come to similar conclusions: that children are not getting timely, adequate information.”
There is such a wide variety of subjects students need to be educated on concerning sexual health, and if schools don’t have guidelines to follow, it is unlikely they will be taught sufficiently, if at all. These can include — but are not limited to — safe practices, consent, menstruation, LGBTQ+ health, diseases, pregnancies and pornography.
In addition, just because one teaches these topics, doesn’t mean the neighboring school does as well or presents the same content. Schools are pumping out a generation of adults with completely inconsistent knowledge surrounding their bodies.
This is because there is currently no national curriculum mandated in U.S. schools for sexual education.
This doesn’t mean all 50 states are lacking anything other than a condom on a banana. Planned Parenthood, a non-profit organization working towards ensuring accessible care is available to anyone, reports in 2023 that 39 states (as well as the District of Columbia) require schools to teach sexual or HIV-related information to students. However the article states that despite this, “there’s no guarantee that the sex education students get is high quality or covers the topics young people need to learn about to stay healthy.”
Schools are failing their students.
The lack of a national mandate has made it so individual states are left to make the decisions about what is and isn’t taught in sex ed classes. This allows for political and religious agendas to weasel their way into the curriculum. Thirty-seven states require that abstinence — the act of restraining from something, and in this case sexual intercourse — be a part of the curriculum. However only 18 require educating students on birth control methods, Planned Parenthood reports. This is because of the fear that talking about sexual intercourse will encourage young adults to engage in it.
That fear is unfounded. Numerous studies disprove this belief, says award-winning resource, Very Well Health. Elizabeth Boskey, a social worker and expert writer on STIs, reports in 2023 that “comprehensive sex education doesn’t encourage kids to start having sex sooner or have it more often.” It’s also been proven that providing contraceptives doesn’t make kids more promiscuous.
In fact the only thing that abstinence-only education ensures is that teenagers are denied “the chance to learn about acceptable options other than abstinence.”
Growing up in a Christian, right-leaning community, I remember in school the answer to many questions about sex all coming back to abstinence. The counties nearby worked with the public education collaborator, E2CCB, to have Project KNOW ambassadors come to schools. This started in fifth grade.
Their website outlines frequently asked questions about the program. Within this approximately 550-word source, the curriculum they’ve laid out contradicts itself.
When asked if they teach values it says: “Project KNOW respects the fact that there are different family values. Although we do not teach any specific faith community values, we do promote culturally accepted ideals such as respect, honesty, and responsibility.”
But then further down when asked about what they call alternative lifestyles, it states: “Alternative lifestyles are not addressed in the curriculum. If the topic arises, it is treated as a controversial issue. (see above)”
They’re not clear about what these alternative lifestyles are. One can only assume based on what they’ve already outlined as well as the political climate of the area they’re serving that they’re referencing being part of the LGBTQ+ community or perhaps hoping to pursue a polygamous relationship.
These are treated as a controversial issue, which according to E2CCB means that “Students are told that the issue is controversial, which means that people have different values concerning that particular topic. A brief age-appropriate definition is given. We stress that it is important for them to seek their family’s and if applicable, community of faith’s values.”
Even in some of the most loving families, adolescents may not have someone they can reach out to about these topics.
So with programs like Project KNOW in place, students are told that ‘we can’t give you much of an explanation on this, so ask people in your community. But our program was also designed by the people in your community who don’t want you learning about these subjects, nor do they want to teach you.’ Where a student grows up currently determines whether they get an education that is inclusive of their identity.
Now, I did ask the community’s health educators to comment on these issues. No one was willing to be put on the record. Multiple school districts have educators unwilling to publicly endorse their sexual health curriculum. You can pick out any position to blame — teachers, administrators, counties, states — but in order for consistent change, a nationwide-mandated curriculum is imperative.
So where do young people go if they can’t approach their family for the information, and their school just refers them back to that dead end?
With almost 80% of movies shown on television portraying sexual content according to the government resource of the National Library of Medicine, it’s no wonder that the media is playing such a large role in exposing adolescents to sex. Despite the overflow of images and scenes presented, the media isn’t doing much to adequately replace the education that schools should provide. In fact, “Analyses of media content also show that sexual messages on television are almost universally presented in a positive light, with little discussion of the potential risks of unprotected sexual intercourse and few portrayals of adverse consequences.”
Besides plots that specifically revolve around the negative side of sexual relationships like Law and Order Special Victims Unit, topics including using protection, consent, and the building of a relationship are often overlooked for the sake of time. The media won’t spell it out for adolescents, but rather expect them to know that it’s implied. But for those who haven’t had supplemental conversations and education from school, it isn’t so obvious.
A scene from “That 70s Show” comes to mind when thinking about these false expectations that young adults have about sex. In the episode, Jackie is describing to her best friend how she thinks her and her boyfriend’s first time having sex will play out. There’s a room full of candles, a banner signifying the occasion, and wind blowing. “It will be the most magical night of our lives,” she says. In reality, when the time comes for her and Michael to be physical, it’s just the two of them on the bed kissing, before it fades to black.
This is not uncommon within the sitcoms surrounding teenage relationships. There’s kissing, a shared look, and then the rest is left up to the viewer’s imagination. No one talks about the let down that comes when it isn’t magical or the emotions that arise from the pain and chemical release. Once again the details are left up to the teenagers to fill in.
But how can they do that if they only have these “fade to black” scenes to go off of since their schools and parents may not have provided any further details.
Reality doesn’t have these moments where the camera goes away and everything is just assumed to have gone well. The first time can be painful for anybody as it is a foreign occurrence for your body. Along with providing details about why you might feel pain or have certain reactions to having sex for the first time, Planned Parenthood stresses that “Nobody should have sex that feels uncomfortable or painful. If something hurts or doesn’t feel good, stop and tell your partner.”
Media may not talk about the awkwardness or pain that is perfectly normal, so it’s even more important for educators to inform their students about all of the possible outcomes.
In a heterosexual relationship, there are risks for unwanted pregnancies starting from the first time they engage in sexual intercourse. One way to help prevent this is by using birth control. There are many types, including condoms, the pill, IUDs, diaphragms, and the patch.
But, depending on which you decide to use, their ability to prevent pregnancy will vary. None are 100% effective, though that doesn’t mean they should be disregarded completely. Adolescents need to know about the side effects of all of these methods as well, as some manipulate hormones. If an unwanted pregnancy occurs, it is important for the parties involved to know about their options, including Plan-B (and who it is most effective for), safe abortion-access, adoption, and who they can talk to about prenatal care and childbirth.
With the recent overturning of Roe v Wade, abortions are no longer a constitutional right, and 14 states have banned them completely. In New York, abortions are currently legal until viability, which refers to the time where a fetus could survive on its own outside the uterus. This is up to and including 24 weeks. For local residents, the nearest places available for safe abortions would be about an hour away in Buffalo.
Any sexual relationship also poses risks for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and they aren’t only transmitted through penetrative sex; You can contract an STI from vaginal, anal, or oral sex. The best way to avoid this is to use condoms and be screened regularly for any diseases especially when having multiple partners.
Students need to be taught about accessible facilities near them centered around sexual health, as well as the choices they have the legal right to. Some places require parental permission to make an appointment or receive services while others don’t; This is something young adults need to be aware of because they may not be comfortable informing their parents of their actions.
They also need to be provided a support system both of knowledge and resources in the case of a sexual assault or an unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately, many young people are the victim of sexual violence both within and outside of a relationship.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that “More than 1 in 4 females and 1 in 5 males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of intimate partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.”
Assaults are not just happening in college or once they’ve left the safety of their hometown. Students sitting in their desks right now have suffered from this. The Virginia Action Alliance attributes this to a lack of education. They say “Sexual violence is a problem in young dating relationships in part because many teens are not clear on what consent means, nor how to ask for it.”
Without a nationwide-mandated curriculum for sexual education, we will continue this cycle of young adults having no consistent facts on their bodies and their different experiences. Religious and political ideologies will be determining how knowledgeable they are concerning their sexual health.
Yes, the internet has made it so young adults can direct their questions to a search engine and have the information at their fingertips within seconds. But what about those who have questions they can’t find an answer to? Or the adolescents that don’t have access to a computer or cell phone? Pushing the responsibility to the media is what has gotten us into this epidemic in the first place.
Joe Rubin is a health teacher in San Francisco whose story was published in February 2023 in the San Francisco Chronicle for his work educating his students on sexual topics. He discussed anatomy, consent, STIs and pregnancy, healthy relationships and sexuality. The article quotes Rubin saying “The students get ‘way more information than they ask for,’ but by the end,
Rubin said, they are armed with the information and skills they need to make good decisions and stay safe.”
This is proper sexual education in action. It’s as achievable as it is necessary.
Young adults need to learn factual information about what they’ll experience from people they trust. That’s not actors on television or doctors online; it’s parents, family members, and most importantly teachers. They have a duty to send their students out into the world as prepared as possible, no matter where they’re from or what they believe.
We wouldn’t trust every household to teach their children algebra, so why should we pass the buck on sexual education? Those unprepared will be left vulnerable to disease, pregnancy, abuse, assault, and more. The responsibility lies within every one of us.
Marissa Burr is a junior writing major and communications minor at the State University of New York at Fredonia.
Works Cited
“Abortion in New York State: Know Your Rights,” 2023, New York State Government, [https://www.ny.gov/programs/abortion-new-york-state-know-your-rights]
“Abortion in the U.S.” 2023, AbortionFinder.org [https://www.abortionfinder.org/abortion-guides-by-state/abortion-in-the-united-states]
Boskey, Elizabeth, Garbi, Lyndsey, Isaacs, Zerah, “The benefits of sexual education in schools,” May 02 2023, Very Well Health, [https://www.verywellhealth.com/support-comprehensive-education-schools-3133083#:~:text=Sexual%20education%20in%20public%20schools,(STIs)%20and%20unplanned%20pregnancies]
E2CCB, “Project Know FAQ’s,” Erie 2-Chautauqua-Cattaraugus BOCES, [https://www.e2ccb.org/services.cfm?subpage=1991261]
Gruber, Enid, Grube, Joel W, “Adolescent sexuality in the media,” 2000, National Library of Medicine, National Center for Biotechnology Information, [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070813/]
Planned Parenthood Action Fund, “Sex Education Laws and State Attacks,” 2023, Planned
Parenthood, [https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/issues/sex-education/sex-education-laws-and-state-attacks#:~:text=Decisions%20about%20sex%20education%20are,some%20guidance%20around%20sex%20education]
Planned Parenthood, “What happens when you lose your virginity?” 2023, Planned Parenthood, [https://www.plannedparentho
time-you-have-sex#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20vaginal%20or,if%20your%20hymen%20gets%20stretched]
Planned Parenthood, “What is Sex Education?” 2023, Planned Parenthood [https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/for-educators/what-sex-education#:~:text=Human%20development%2C%20including%20puberty%2C%20anatomy,%2C%20negotiation%2C%20and%20decision%2Dmaking]
Ritchie, Marlene, “How Are Our Children Learning about Sex? The Responsibility of Parents and
Schools to Teach Kids about Human Development and How to Form Caring Relationships – Papers & Essays, March 25, 2016, Child Research Net, [https://www.childresearch.net/papers/rights/2016_02.html#:~:text=Our%20young%20often%20get%20knowledge,and%20psychological%20aspects%20of%20sex]
“Teach Consent” 2023, Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance, [https://www.teachconsent.org/#new-page]
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